You

tw: abuse

You are who I was yesterday

That poor, innocent and feeble soul

Who had no say in what happened to her rather how

You were the willing victim to that toxic brute

Who tortured and hushed you

And despite knowing that, you let him gauge your soul out

And make you a doll he could control

You are someone I wish I could erase but I can’t

He really hurt you, didn’t he?

As the last rain poured, your heart felt like a sinking stone

He left, after a disastrous fight

Where you saw the insanity in his eyes

Which you swore was just anger but knew that it wasn’t….

You sat there at the bus stop, soaked in anger, frustration and sadness

You cried there every day, hoping to find someone there, waiting for you

Waiting to embrace and kiss you all over and apologize

But never found anyone but hushed silence which pierced through you and broke you

Tired and disappointed

You went back to the place you are supposed to call home

And tried to find solace in the conventional words of others

But you never really understood why you stayed with him, even though he was who he was?

Was it out of insecurity? Fear of being left behind? Or was it a willing assault that you brought on yourself?

You know that you can never forget the “sweet” long nights you spent with him, where he went on and on about his difficulties and invalidated your problems

As you thought everything over and over again

You realized that this “perfect” relationship

Was merely fabricated and never real

He never changed, oh no…

He merely remained who he was

You were the one who started noticing it

The realization hit you like lighting in cold and bitter rain

You struggled to remain

You hated yourself

You wanted to run away from this weak and naïve doll who found herself tattered and pulled apart

Emptiness engulfed your soul

Hours, Days, Weeks passed

Slowly you grew

Life kicked you and put you on a pedestal of societal expectations and your choices

You refused comfort and fought like a brave soldier on the battlefield

Fighting the brim of life and death

You shed off the doll

And gave birth to me

Perhaps, a self-approved version of yourself

Your struggle, fight and decisions made me

And I thank you so much for not giving up and giving in

I will try a little every day to remember you as a beautiful tragedy not a wreaked havoc

I will try to love who I was, even if I don’t really like her

But I will try and I may fail but I will always remember

You were me and hating me would be a terrible plight

After all

Who you are today is the relic of who you were yesterday