Zero

Gone were the days when a zero on top of a piece of paper defined me.

The moment I took my result slip for finals and saw that I had scored a decent enough grade for myself, I heaved a sigh of relief. All the struggles I had gone through, all the nights I could not sleep properly… they had all paid off, and this is the receipt of my purchase---a certificate bought with so much, some may even say too much, of myself.

At this point, I cannot recognise myself any longer. Who am I now?

I had nothing outside of trying to stay afloat. Nothing other than hardcore mugging even when my head burned and my wrists are sore from all the endless writing. I spent my entire life on studying and worrying over paper results.

I could see the dark circles under my eyes. I don't need mirrors to tell me how terrible I look.

No one understands. Correction: They do, but they are all too burnt out to think about anyone else. They couldn’t even breathe themselves. Together, we are alone in our suffering.

But today, I am set free. Finally, the numbers on a piece of paper mean something, and I had earned my freedom.

I went to my graduation ceremony, despite how pointless some of my classmates say it is. I find graduation ceremonies meaningful. After all the time, money, and effort I had burned, I think I deserve to be celebrated for once.

But now, with nothing else to study for, I am adrift and back to zero.

I’m going back to zero, where all new beginnings start.